POST #41

i dont know bakit?

Minsan nakakainis rin sarili ko. I always say "ok lang or wala,im fine" pero sa totoo lang pinipilit ko lang na maging oo. Then after being strong during that moment di ko na kayang pigilan yung nararamdaman ko,I'll end up crying. Bakit ba di ko kayang maglie sa nararamdaman ko? yung tipong di gaanong visible yung nararamdaman ko. Ang bilis ko kasing maapektuhan and i know mali pero kasi  I think sensitive ako masyado if at least care. Ang tagal lang talaga mawala sa isip ko ang mga naririnig ko especially kapag masakit or alam kong magcacause ng pain in the future. it's not overacting, it's preventing well, ako lng nakakagets nito. Kasi naman kung ikekeep mo yung something na sasakit sayo sa future why not let go today di ba?

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POST #40

I'm happy as a bee :)

August was good to me, so good hehe

Well, I never thought na I will be this happy again. Actually, beyond happy before :) if you will compare last year's event from this year...it's totally different in a good way. I'm thankful enough that God answered my prayers and still answering but I'm still afraid to try even though I always have this mantra that there-is-no-harm-in-trying. I just really don't know why am I like this. I think I'm too afraid of getting hurt again again. Especially when you hear the same words like it's a déjà vu. Sometimes, you're just want to have that long pause and think first because of the fast phasing of events that you don't even know what's real or not. Im afraid to have the same mistake of trusting someone not worthy of it. I know it's bias but its my way of protecting myself from getting hurt again. I just wish people will always be happy and won't get hurt so that they won't have issues. I like how someone is giving me so much effort pero ayaw ko masanay. Kasi syempre mahirap din yun di ba, yung tipong dependent ka na sa tao. Kaya as much as possible kahit alam kong may ganun, I always set my expectation sa lowest point. Mas masaya kaya ang buhay kapag you assume less and live more :)

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