POST #43

I don't want to feel that "thing" again.

I'm happy right now, I guess, the happiest. Many things happened these past few months. I introduce someone to my parents for the first time and I was really nervous that time. Actually, I did not plan to introduce him real soon to my parents because I'm afraid that he will just walk away someday. i dont want to be be a loser introducing someone to my parents for the first time then he will just leave me. But it turned out okay. They get together well and I am still surprised :) I just hope that he will be the first and last person that I will introduce to them. I'm thankful that God answered my prayers more than what I asked to Him. 

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POST #42

Just the thought of someone leaving haunts me.

I have been hearing hearts broken around. It somehow scares me to take the risk again. I'm too afraid that somehow the happiness I have right now will be taken away from me in the future. I dont want the feeling of being extremely sad again. Though you trust the person, there's still this feeling that in the end, you two will end up like the rest, broken. I guess falling in love is a cycle, a not so good one. You will fall in love then have arguments, be able to fix those, disagreements again, then one day either one of you will get tired and will fall out of love no matter how much promises you made or the other. That's what scary about promises, they are meant to be broken and there's no assurance about it. It's just a word that's been sugar coated for you to believe. So how can you tell if someone is completely different from the rest? 

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POST #41

i dont know bakit?

Minsan nakakainis rin sarili ko. I always say "ok lang or wala,im fine" pero sa totoo lang pinipilit ko lang na maging oo. Then after being strong during that moment di ko na kayang pigilan yung nararamdaman ko,I'll end up crying. Bakit ba di ko kayang maglie sa nararamdaman ko? yung tipong di gaanong visible yung nararamdaman ko. Ang bilis ko kasing maapektuhan and i know mali pero kasi  I think sensitive ako masyado if at least care. Ang tagal lang talaga mawala sa isip ko ang mga naririnig ko especially kapag masakit or alam kong magcacause ng pain in the future. it's not overacting, it's preventing well, ako lng nakakagets nito. Kasi naman kung ikekeep mo yung something na sasakit sayo sa future why not let go today di ba?

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