I think I lose my balance to life. I wasted so much of my time waiting and hoping. There was even a time that I stop prioritizing my studies just to fix things. I dont study for the final exam, pre finals and even cut classes. I almost regret that part. But God is with me, all the time. HE never left me. I did pass all my subjects.I just thought that I am really better without him. There's still anger but anger will not do anything. It will only consume me. I know time will heal everything. And I'm really hoping that time will come. I don't regret doing the things that made me look crazy like chasing or trying to fix the relationship. BUT I just really hope that he should have told me before that he has someone else so I wont bother him before and not hope for and the pain will not be as hurtful as it is now. For now I really want to release whatever I'm feeling,I want the pain to consume me but not for too long. I really want to cry so hard but I just can't. I dont know what 's with me, too much pain maybe that I end up having a stone heart. I don't like the feeling of being numb,it kills. I just really hope you became visible and let everything to be transparent and you should have not hide everything.I bet he told the girl the words he told me before. I just really wish that the girl wont be fooled if she really dont know anything. I hope you really know how to treat girls,the right way.
The good thing about what happened is that I learned so many things. I learn to be positive about things that might be impossible and to believe. Though I feel the pain, I know I'm okay. I deserve more because I can give more. That's what on my mind right now. I know the right person will come and won't hurt me with lies. I know he will come and wont let a tear fall from my eyes. When that person come, I won't think twice to bring him home and introduce to my parents(it's not good to introduce someone who will just leave you).
In the end, don't regret anything. I gave my best, I trusted and I loved unconditionally.
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